OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
