i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
