I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
