Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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