so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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