Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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