just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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