i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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