We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
