it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
