Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
