STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
