I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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