Your mouth is God's brothel.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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