it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
