They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
