I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
