my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it hurts more in the daytime
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
