pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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