pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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