Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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