Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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