We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
