worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
