and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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