Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
