Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
