"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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