and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
