I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
