I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
