from now on my penis is your penis
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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