ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
