Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
