is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
