i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think my moral compass just broke
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
