You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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