the day after is always just damage control
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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