We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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