my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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