I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
When are your genitals available?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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