Please, let me fuck your mom
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
