We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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