i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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