Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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