My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
