I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
