It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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