not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
