But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
