i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
